OKAY SEE, THE THING ABOUT PHOTO MANIPS IS

IT HAS TO BE FUCKING PERFECT

LIKE, ABSOLUTELY JUST FUCKING RIGHT

IF IT ISN'T THEN INSTEAD OF AWESOME SEXY TIMES

ONE GUY IS JUST HOLDING THE OTHER GUY'S DECAPITATED HEAD ONTO A BODY (POSSIBLY A REAL DOLL?) WHILE HE FUCKS IT

THIS IS WHY I WILL NEVER EVER EVER TRY TO DO A SERIOUS PHOTO MANIP BECAUSE I STRAIGHT UP DON'T HAVE THE CHOPS TO KEEP IT FROM GOING INTO DECAPITATED REAL DOLL TERRITORY

ETA: AND NOW AMI IS FUCKING AROUND ON THE SITE, MAKING A REAL DOLL

ALL I HEARD WAS, "NOW LET'S GIVE HER A REALLY BIG PENIS!"

WHAT

I AM ALL CRUNKED UP ON SOME WINE AMI AND I BOUGHT AND WHEN I BURP IT TASTES LIKE STEAK'N'SHAKE AND I WANT MY FUCKING NEW CAR

TODAY I SAW LIKE 12 OF THEM DRIVING AROUND

TAUNTING ME

WITH THEIR TIGHT LITTLE CAR ASSES

BITCH

THIS WINE IS GOOD

I STILL LOVE THE JONAS BROTHERS



NICK AND KEVIN NOW I GOT HER BOYS THE BOSS IS ON A ROOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

UM

I JUST BOUGHT A NEW CAR

LIKE

BRAND NEW

2012 BRAND NEW

I JUST WENT OUT LOOKING FOR A USED CAR

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN

I'M SO SLEEPY BUT I HAVE AN AWESOME NEW APARTMENT THAT I HAVE FARTED IN SO NOW IT'S MINE AND I'M GOING TO CHICAGO IN LIKE SIX HOURS

LIFE, YOU ARE HECTIC. BUT AWESOME.

I currently have a beer within arm's reach and a tiny kitten sized cat sniffing a myriad of apartment application forms.

Life is pretty sweet.

JESUS FUCK IT'S SLENDER MAN

NEVER SLEEPING AGAIN EVER NOW

I CAN'T STOP LISTENING TO CABIN PRESSURE OMG AND THERE'S A KINK MEME FOR IT AND EVERYTHING AUUUUGGGGHHHH I DON'T NEED OBSESSIONS WITH BRAKES SEASON COMING UP

Speaking of, I got promoted again. AGAIN. Instead of quality/data collection/repair beast, I am now the quality control coordinator. I would say I wonder what kinds of morons they've been hiring, but the fact is, I pretty much have to babysit said morons now, so I know damn well what kinds we have.

My entire resume included (in reverse chronological order) a whole two years at Walmart, some time spent bumming around a comics shop, and a hazy nightmare of McDonalds, and I've been promoted like...FOUR times in less than a fucking year. I have pretty much zero experience in a manufacturing environment and I've gone from entry level wage slave to the person in charge of quality control in an entire department in about 9 months while other folks have been there for years and are still in entry level production.

THE FACT THAT I AM A GRADE A BROWN NOSER PROBABLY DIDN'T HURT THOUGH

AND I STILL LOVE CABIN PRESSURE

HEY LJ. LJ, HEY! YEEEAAAH.

I keep forgetting this thing exists. D: IDK how, but I just hurp derp derp. Work is going pretty damn good. I've been moved/promoted from production to a weird hybrid of quality control, data collection, and impromptu emergency product repair guy thing. It's not quite got the same ring as "warrior-poet", but it also pays better.

Life in conservative Republican hell has made me dedicate my life to turning the ass-end of my car into the Dirty Rotten Liberal-Mobile. Right now, Wags is sporting the following bumper stickers:

- "Democrats: Change That Matters"
- "Turn Off Fox - Bad News For America"
- "=" (for the Human Rights Campaign)
- "Corporations Are NOT The People"
- "NoNukesYall.com"
- "War Is Not The Answer"

Coming soon: "I <3 Ranch Dressing" because I do.

And since I'm listing, my (nearly one-month old) Christmas gifts:

- RED WII!
- a nookColour, with a green fake leather nook-cover
- the Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson soundtrack, with matching "History Just Got All Sexypants" shirt
- new stripey bathrobe!
- Epic Mickey for the aforementioned Wii that is RED, btw
- a book of steampunk short stories
- BBC Sherlock on bluray
- RDJ Sherlock on blurazzleberry
- Granada Sherlock on regular type dvd
- $35 gift card to B&N to buy "The Zombies of Lake Woebegotten", "Gunn's Golden Rules" and "Handling the Undead" for my nooky-wook
- Batman hoodie!
- a new pair of Vans to replace the ones from 8th grade that I finally threw away years ago
- a brown pair of not-Vans-but-still-damn-spiffys
- CANDY OUT THE ASS
- STRA WRAS patterned pyjama pants and a SW mug that is el gigante and mucho awesome

aaaand I think that's it. Maybe. And then afterward, I bought both Just Dance games, and the Michael Jackson dancey game for my RED WII(!!!).

AND NOW I WANT MY TAX RETURN SO I CAN BUY THAT FUCKING 65-INCH SAMSUNG LED TV I KEEP FAPPING OVER AT BEST BUY.

Even though I'm likely getting a new cell phone instead. Probably the HTC EVO because it is so fucking sexy I could die.










OH SHIT I FORGOT TO MENTION HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE MISFITS

NATHAN IS BEAUTIFUL

Also, I've struck a bargain with Ami.

Come Saturday, I'll watch her Christmas movie with her (Bridget Jones' Diary), and she'll watch my Christmas movie with me.

My Christmas movie?

DIE HARD!

YIPPIE-KI-AYE MOTHER FUCKERS!

I AM NEVER GOING TO GET A BREAK FROM WRAPPING PRESENTS! EVER!

I've been wrapping presents since I came back home from Illinois. It's gotten to the point that my life consists entirely of sleeping, working, eating and watching Misfits (MULTITASKING!), and wrapping presents.

By Saturday, I'm going to be found walking around on the lake, wearing nothing but my pop-up tape dispensing wrist strap. Incoherent ramblings need not even be mentioned, as that is my constant state.

BUT DAMN I LOVE NATHAN!

Ami and I mde out like BANDITS this morning. We're still trying to recoup from it, but damn it was worth it. Not only did we get EVERYTHING we wanted to get (and then some), but we also managed to actually MAKE money. Cause we're that damn good.

Tryouts for our 2011 BF team start next week. Strategy meetings begin early January.

NEXT YEAR, DOUBLE OR NOTHING!